Thursday, March 20, 2008


The Prequel:
Ta-da! I changed the look around here. I was going for a ‘now-that-it’s-spring-pastel’ look and instead it kinda looks like a ghetto easter egg vomited all over. Oh well, I’ll worry about that later.

Item the first:
How come you always read these stories in the paper of some dentist that was caught doing work out of the back of his van behind the strip mall but you can’t ever find him when you need him? Answer me that! I am 28 years old and I have wisdom teeth coming in! WTF? I have one that is fully crowned and one that is popping. Now I know how the kiddo feels when these boogers come in. And I thought I had them removed already so I was especially shocked. But I called my oral surgeon (from 10 years ago) and the only removed one, not all. And the kicker…? I don’t have dental insurance. I work for a dental company but their insurance sucks and so since I have good teeth I only got medical, not dental coverage. That’s some Murphy’s Law right there.

Number deux:
Speaking of the kiddo and teething… she has been rancid lately! Just wicked, wicked crabby! Holy cow man, she learned this fake crying thing and she does that like only every 5 minutes. Ha-ha. And last night I wouldn’t give her more ketchup (um, probably because she wasn’t even dipping her fries in it but rather scooping it up with her fingers and eating it all) and she had a major freak out screaming crying fit. Is this all normal 17-month-old baby issues or is she rebelling early? Also, she has horrible diaper rash right now. So bad so that I invented the redneck diaper. That’s where I duct taped a cloth diaper to her booty so she can get some air in there (hence the photo). I know. I’m brilliant.

Speaking of crabby… I have a cold. And it’s cool and all, I’m a big girl, I can deal with it. (Except for at night. Oh my goodness, is that not the worst. It’s punishment I swear. You can’t breath and you wake up feeling not so refreshed with a nose full ‘o snot and sandpaper mouth.) But my job requires that I talk on the phone all day every day and there’s really no exception for those of us who are so hoarse we sounds like a frog. Croak! All my customer say “you sound horrible, you should be at home”. Do you think if I had nay PTO left I would still be blowing snot all over my desk? Um, negative. And the Hubby has it too but the kid doesn’t. That scares me because A) she’ll get and be even more crabby or B) she’ll get it after I’m better and we’ll pass it back and forth for a month. Ick, no thanks to both.

And lastly:
I just found out my Mommy is coming to visit! For two weeks. (So, if you could see the look on my face, which it’s too bad you can’t; it looks a little like a polite smile crossed with eyes rolling and you can see the steam coming out of my ears). I love my Mom, I really do, but man…two weeks is like the longest I have ever spent with her in almost 10 years. My sister thinks I moved 1,500 miles away for a reason. Even when the baby bug was born she only came for a week and that was when we had the bigger house. Now we live in a shoe box and (AND) Brandon is home all day. (You should see the face he’s making). So, we’ve already got lots of fun stuff planned like the zoo and antiquing but I’m going to tell my mother in law that my mom is staying with her. What?! They’re a match made in heaven. The two of them can sleep in till 2pm, drink a gallon of coffee whilst smoking a carton a carton of cigs before heading off to the bingo hall to bitch about their children. Perfect.

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